Happiness Adjacent (2017)

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Written and Directed by Rob Williams

Produced by Rod Johnson

Starring Adam Fried, Ian Dick, Rachel Alig and Jorgie Goico   

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    Sometimes I think it's a miracle anything gets made. When you are standing on the stepping off point of such a complex creative endeavor like a film, it's hard to look at the mountain of work ahead of you and say "I will finish this." with any sort of conviction. Films are a combination of so many different arts, each delicate and irreplaceable, and only through their seamless integration will your final product even look, sound, and be seen as "normal". To say Happiness Adjacent is a triumph is not enough- in the context of its creation, it's a bona-fide miracle it ever got made. For example...Rob Williams had devised a film that could only be made if we:

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       - shot the entire script, 89 pages worth, secretly...

       - while onboard a $300 million dollar cruise liner...

       - and in Mexico...

       - in just seven days.

      

     That's it. No big deal, right? To this day, this film is one of the proudest accomplishments of my career, not just because of the hurdles we had to clear to make it, but because it tells a story that transcends the medium that we present it in- Happiness Adjacent is about love, and nothing but love went into its creation.

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    The sheer magnitude of what we attempted amazed me back then and still astounds me to this day. Sure, Tangerine (2015) used an iPhone before and High Flying Bird (2019) showed that even Steven Sodebergh could deign to use the more democratic phone camera, but in my mind it was our director/DP Rob Williams who was the first filmmaker to fully realize the versatility and ubiquity of the smartphone camera when he shot Happiness Adjacent on the iPhone 6+, allowing all of us to move and shoot discreetly in environments where even a skeleton film crew would find themselves either unwelcome or hard pressed to even fit. The whole of our cast and crew was literally just Rob, Adam, Rachel, and myself- we had the footprint of a small family, much less an indie feature.

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The Casting

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    At first, Happiness Adjacent was just another project on a casting site- I used to submit to dozens of these potential projects a day, blasting my headshots, reels and dumb jokes into the ether in the hopes of nabbing an audition. After scoping out the most interesting and least offensively paid roles, I'd  bundle together my responses, click submit and then promptly forget about all but the most promising ones- getting a call for an audition is just the next step in a long walk, there's no sense in getting your hopes up until you're standing on set with the job in hand.

 

     In this case there was an unusually long turnaround- about four months later, Rob got back to me- would I be interested in shooting a self-tape audition for his film? Of course, after four months I couldn't remember who he was, not just because it had been a busy 120 days, but also because when I got his email I was in the throes of a bad case of the flu- my usual remedy of repeat viewings of The West Wing and Airplane were barely keeping me alive. Once my head felt less like a crumpled tissue, I opened the pair of scenes he had sent along, prepared to try and make a two-dimensionally written character seem alive...but within a page, I saw that this guy was different.

 

     On the page, Kurt was outgoing but awkward, masculine and vulnerable and funny and above all, careful. His character had a voice that spoke to Robs naturalistic writing style, and he said things that I hadn't had the words to express until I read them. He was human, someone with so much love to give and needs to fulfill that he couldn't, and wouldn't, contain them. Every bit of that was plain to see on the five or so pages Rob had sent me.

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Round One: The Self-Tape

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    My self-taped audition...whoo. First of all, it's easily one of the longer single take auditions that I've made, clocking in around five minutes for two scenes, one awkwardly comedic and the other painfully intimate. The first scene was an early version of the one where Kurt and Hank meet, a snappy back and forth where the two joust over family history and career choices before slowly becoming comfortable with each other. As I watch it three years later, I remember sitting in the kitchen of the collegiate Tujunga house as David Murakami, one of my best friends from college, was reading the lines opposite me. You can hear him and I stumbling over some Yiddish that Rob sprinkled throughout the script to lend some authenticity to Kurt's Jewish heritage. Months away from the finished product, Kurt's last name was different and some of the dialogue would be massaged for the final film, but the core of the character shone through, his awkwardness and amiability revealing themselves in turn as he got to know Hank for the first time.

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    The next scene, however, was the one I was worried about. The affability of the first scene had to halt almost immediately as I transitioned into the pivotal scene where Kurt explains to Hank why he loves him the way he does. Context required me to play it drunk, but looking back that went out the window about halfway through the scene, as emotion takes over. Since I shot the pair of scenes in one go, I was able to use the whiplash of the scene transition to get myself where I needed to be, on the brink of emotional collapse. Again, in hindsight, my performance in the finished film is more nuanced but I loved how vulnerable Rob's writing made me feel in the moment, a brief span of time where Kurt not only admits why his love for Hank is different than the love he has for his wife, but for the first time puts it into words that he needs to hear.

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     I'll admit, it's not easy for me to look back at what I've made, especially when it's an audition...but here it is.

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Round 2: The Chemistry Read

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     Well, apparently my performance hit home. Rob emailed me a couple days later and asked if I could come in for a "chemistry read"- for anyone unfamiliar with the term, this is a Director-led meeting meant to test the natural chemistry between two or more actors. It's a test of not just their acting ability, but whether or not they can get along and work well together, believably, in whatever roles you're being considered for. As you can imagine, these tests are especially important in films involving romantic themes- after all, your two leads may be perfectly proficient actors, but if they can't talk without getting on each others nerves, then you're in for an uphill battle. Needless to say, I was a bit anxious.

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     On the day of my test I drove down to a little neighborhood in Silverlake, Los Angeles, and was met by our producer, Rod Johnson, in the delightfully shady garden of a home set into the hillside. He gave me a brief history of Guest House Films and his working relationship with Rob, how they'd ushered almost a dozen films into existence together and carved out a niche for themselves making LGBTQ+ content for a culture that craved accurate, meaningful representation. He instantly made me feel at ease, like I might have a role to play in bringing a story to life that could positively impact others. After a couple of minutes, Rob appeared, a jolly bear of a man with a charming glint in his eye, and as I was led into the house I met the other two people present for the chemistry read- Rachel Alig and Adam Fried. 

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Preparation

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The Production

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     Day 0

     "On ship with zero hassle. Checked out the ship and its plentiful amenities, this place is built like a damn maze. Had two scenes with adam, a damn fine actor and solid Hank. Tomorrow is a long day with a bunch of exposition and the first (and most complicated) sex scene. Rob has been happy with performances, despite some technical (sound) issues. We are set to push hard.

     Rob's killing it, so good."

     - April 16th, 2017

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     To say that I was nervous about this day is an understatement. I was actively, absolutely, shitting my pants. 

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     My sister dropped me off at the Port of Long Beach about an hour early, giving me more than enough time to imagine that I was making a terrible mistake and might wake up back in the Santa Cruz Bikes wheel department cranking out another set of overpriced ENVE's. Instead, I met up with Rob (who also showed up early, another trait I love in a director) and shot the shit for a bit before everyone else arrived. 

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     Day 1

     "A good shoot day. By 11am we had finished the majority of our morning scenes, though it was much busier than rob had anticipated. We had to make several laps around the ship to find shooting locations, which led us to shooting out of order. The basketball court still eludes us. The night scenes went well, being more crucial scenes, but the same issues arose as the deck was being cleaned and all the bars were closed for some reason. We made it work by moving around several times. The sex scene went well, esp. considering my complete lack of experience in fucking on film.

     Just goes to show, act as if.

     Pushed scene 16 (basketball) and Scene 26 (Kates Cabin)."

     - April 17th, 2017

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     Day 2

     "More surreptitious scenes, shot well. Today we operated in the main dining room with zero issues, as well as the sun deck and theater (showing La La Land, Rob's favorite) in plain view. Rachel also joined us and she is an absolute treat to work alongside. Today we pushed two larger scenes, Scene 39 in the spa and Scene 46, Sex scene #2 ,but otherwise finished strong. Current thinking is that the spa shoot will have to wait for a shore day, to avoid the maximum amount of people."

     -April 18th, 2017

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     For the record, Rob hates La La Land. 

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     Day 3

     "PIRATES! Pronounced Pie-rah-tays. Today we had both the first port and our first off-boat excursion, little did we know what was in store for us. Adam and I started the day off with a sunrise run, admiring the already-awake city of Puerto Vallarta spread out below the deck, where a bullfighting ring sat within a mile of luxury highrise apartments and a superyacht docked alongside us looking like a toy boat in a bathtub. Within an hour we had left the ship with Rob and camera in tow to go on the unknown quantity: "Pirate Land" excursion offered by the ship.We were absolutely floored by what we found- some of the funniest, most bombastic hombres to ever don a tri-corner hat.

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     Okay, this was a killer day. I grew up in a Navy family and regularly listened to my Dad expound about famous pirate captains and various ways they killed for fun and profit- it always seemed odd to me that a man so invested in a profession with rigid rules and systems would revere a group of criminals who did things democratically and chaotically, but then I met other Navy guys and it all made sense. The pirates Adam and I met, however, were as far from the "slit-yer-throat-fer-a-dubloon" variety as can be, and we fucking loved it.

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     Starting off the day looking out at the Puerto Vallarta, you could just see the sails of ship that would take us on our excursion, the double-masted majesty that happened to be a functioning reproduction of the Santa Maria, one of Columbus's ships that, you know, sort of happened upon the Americas and successfully brought back the news to Europe for the first time? The history nerd in me was having a field day. It looked tiny from our absolutely monumental ship, but as we approached I was floored by how 

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Round One: The Self-Tape

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    My self-taped audition...whoo. First of all, it's easily one of the longer single take auditions that I've made, clocking in around five minutes for two scenes, one awkwardly comedic and the other painfully intimate. The first scene was an early version of the one where Kurt and Hank meet, a snappy back and forth where the two joust over family history and career choices before slowly becoming comfortable with each other. As I watch it three years later, I remember sitting in the kitchen of the collegiate Tujunga house as David Murakami, one of my best friends from college, was reading the lines opposite me. You can hear him and I stumbling over some Yiddish that Rob sprinkled throughout the script to lend some authenticity to Kurt's Jewish heritage. Months away from the finished product, Kurt's last name was different and some of the dialogue would be massaged for the final film, but the core of the character shone through, his awkwardness and amiability revealing themselves in turn as he got to know Hank for the first time.

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    The next scene, however, was the one I was worried about. The affability of the first scene had to halt almost immediately as I transitioned into the pivotal scene where Kurt explains to Hank why he loves him the way he does. Context required me to play it drunk, but looking back that went out the window about halfway through the scene. Since I shot the pair of scenes in one go, I was able to use the whiplash of the scene transition to get myself where I needed to be, on the brink of emotional collapse. Again, in hindsight, my performance in the finished film is more nuanced but I loved how vulnerable Rob's writing made me feel in the moment, a brief span of time where Kurt not just admits why he needs to love Hank, but where he realizes it for the first time, himself.

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    Self-taping, in general, gives you the opportunity to put your best foot forward- you're no longer constrained by the five minute window that almost all in-person auditions occupy, which allows you to go to great lengths to make sure that the take that you submit- the two-minute snapshot of your character- will be good enough to stand out from hundreds of other actors all saying the exact same lines that you are. I know people who shoot a dozen versions, mix and match separate takes and edit audio and color balance until they're sure every extraneous eventuality has been brought into line, but I take a different tack. I treat it like a normal audition, albeit one where I can swear and start over as many times as I need.

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- shot entirely guerilla on unsecured locations, slipping security in dozens of public areas onboard and off.

       - shot two or three takes (at most) for the vast majority of the scenes, many of which were emotional, carefully choreographed and irreplaceable if we missed our chance.

       - shot not one, not two, but three sex scenes with two actors who had never done a single one in their careers.

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   The whole reason we were able to shoot the film in the first place rested solely on Rob's ballsy conjecture that he could make a movie shot on a smartphone feel it was shot on a camera worth exponentially more AND get it into more places discretely. He succeeded at this by making the camera another actor, flowing through the labyrinthine interior of the ship and the fantastic beauty of Mexico as it followed myself, Adam and Rachel on the ride of a lifetime.

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The Audition

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    When I initially inquired about Happiness Adjacent it was just another submission in about a dozen I sent off every day. Like all the others I had no idea if it was going to be fantastically good, painfully bad, or the average case in LA's- just another audition. There was a bit of ahiccup in the production as the group moved out of LA, so around four months later Rob reached out to arrange a self-tape audition. Good news, right? Well, the bad news was that I was enduring a bout of the flu at the time and fully thought his email was a fever dream when it bounced across my laptop in between viewings of The West Wing and Airplane. Rob was incredibly understanding about my delay, and once I received the sides that I was to audition with, I quickly realized that this was a story that I would love to tell. Kurt Dimmeldorf, on the surface, was fairly far removed from me- a married yet closeted bisexual Jew(ish) man from the midwest who seeks out flings with other men on the rare vacations he and his wife take (apparently a well-established trope in LGBTQ cinema), but the depth of pathos that Rob imbued this character with floored me and easily stood out from the crowd of poorly-written protagonists you usually get. Kurt wasn't a guy on the hunt for some vacation dick- he wanted desperately to connect with someone on an emotional level that he wasn't capable of reaching with his wife. He was a man for whom loyalty and love were tightly interwoven and yet as fluid as the life he led. Far from perfect, he drinks heavily and lies convincingly, but through it all he loves so, so deeply.

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You have an idea in your head of what the scene will look like, you try to imagine the sights, smells, and physical reality of wherever you'd be shooting, but 

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